So, I'm sitting in a meeting on Saturday morning trying to follow the presentations on agenda items at the Pacific Region Service Assembly. The meeting ends at 9:15 and I proceed outside for some fresh air amongst the smokers. I approach a pack of three older gentlemen armed with their canes and their handlebar mustaches.
Eric: "Can I bum a smoke?"
Old Dude: "Sure, but watch out, they're all natural."
Eric: (fake smile, light cigarette) "Thanks."
I'll back up a little. During the meeting my thoughts are extremely combative and arguable. Almost as if my thoughts are like a shark and a whale having a debate while swimming through the oceans of my imagination.
Shark: "Hey you should hella go smoke. It's been hella long."
Whale: "Don't do it. Think about what we're trying to be."
Shark: "Cigarettes are hella good."
Whale: "I agree, but after even one cigarette you've got that smokey taste in your mouth. Ew."
Shark: "Remember the feeling of the smoke hitting you in the chest. How it tastes. Mmm."
Whale: "Fuck man! You're right. We can just quit cold turkey tomorrow."
It's so amazing. I love the taste, the feel, the harshness, the smootheness, everything about this experience. The feeling of the nicotine going to my head and I feel a care free sense of tranquility. Immediately following the first cigarette, I proceed to bum another one. It doesn't have the same effect. It's almost kinda gross. That is, so I'm told, what happens when one smokes crack cocaine. This action is repeated with the intention of feeling that original feeling of "Ahh."
This all occurred two days ago. This time what I'm doing different is no nicotine. I haven't had any nic-gum or any patches.
How to end the thought?
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
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